Losing Dad has been unlike any heartache I’ve gone through before. Most days I still need to remind myself it’s true. Because when you lose someone you never imagined life without, life will be unlike its ever been. Not always pain, but always different.
Like this season, one day is cold and can feel much more like winter, the next there is hope of sunshine and green. Grief is that way, I’m learning, inconsistent and ever-changing.
Before dad passed, my sister and I sat at my kitchen table, talking and wondering when we might taste Spring. While we grappled with the future, hearts fighting fear, Chelsea mentioned the hope of future manna.
“Your future includes manna. It will come. There is no sense devising future scenarios now because God will do more than you anticipate. When you understand God’s plan to give future grace, you have access to what is arguably God’s most potent salve against worry and fear.” -Ed Welch
God knows what’s ahead, but we can’t. I’m sure we couldn’t handle it, anyway – knowing what’s to come. What we can know is that He will give the right amount of grace for the next day. And then the next.
As the peonies are popping through on the sides of our drive and the bulbs have bloomed around the perimeter of our house, I’m hopeful for the future manna. Spring is bringing new hope and more grace, one day at a time.